


Concept of You and I

by orphan_account



Series: If Only That Happened [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hesitant Avenger Loki, I make this up as I go, I'll add tags if I choose to continue this, Identity issues whoo, Loki's POV at first, Mind Control, Mutual Pining, Secrets, Slow Burn, Thor's a good brother, Time Travel Shenanigans, Unresolved Sexual Tension, assassin reader, but that's for later, evil reader, first person POV, heheheheh, post Endgame, softer Loki, unrequited pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-03-30 01:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19032145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Their dust was like chalk and wood chips. Thinking about them felt like swallowing nails and rose thorns. The End smelled of smoke and mint, and sounded like a conch shell void of the sound of the ocean. When half the world disappeared, it took everything from you. Then, even more people started disappearing after Hydra took advantage of the Decimation.You lay cradled in his lap, his fingers buried in your hair. With nothing left to lose, you turn back time for the man you never had the chance to love, for the god who deserved to live his life with his brother, for his redemption.With blooded lips you plead with him to take the last vial of Pym Particles you had left. And he does.Your eyes finally close on their own volition and the world turns dark. The ringing in your ears didn't allow you the comfort of his voice, only the sensation of his fingers and tears cascading over your cheeks remained. His hands stopped brushing your hair. The scent of smoke and mint vanished.Desperately, you clung to whatever remained of him in your darkened world. You vaguely wonder what the afterlife is like, and who you'll meet there."It will always be you and I."And then, you woke up.





	1. The day before "After"

**Author's Note:**

> A year after Thanos was defeated, the universe slowly recovered from the aftermath of the Decimation. Everyone was brought back, Tony, Natasha, Loki- everyone. 
> 
> Everyone was safe.
> 
> You just had an awful dream. You were in a coma because of the Decimation. Nightmares were common.
> 
> Thanos never won, the Avengers hasn't died off, and Hydra definitely didn't take over the world. Hydra didn't take advantage of the Decimation. The world is safe.
> 
> Right?
> 
>  
> 
> This has been haunting me for the past 2 months now. I have to write it somewhere. I hope you like it!  
> I'm confused, it's 3 am and I don't think I'm making sense.

Loki closed his eyes in an attempt to drown out his surroundings. Favoring darkness over the obnoxiously red walls of Stark's medical wing, the uncomfortable plastic chair he sat on, and the woman lying on a bed motionless.

 

 

With colorless cheeks and sunken eyes, she lied still, hooked to a machine. Her lips are drawn to a thin line and the only indication of life he had from her was the incessant sound coming from her heart monitor. As irritating it was, he clung to it's rhythm. Bidding his mind to use it to calm himself. 

He brings himself back to the night that brought her to this state, a week ago. To find answers he knew he didn’t have.

 

Rubble trembles as the earth was torn apart, flickering embers from a nearby fire fade into the edges of his vision. The rise from his makeshift nest of broken concrete left Loki raking his hands across the dusty ground. A vain attempt to distract himself from the throbbing in his ribs. Baring his teeth to stifle a hiss of pain, he scans his surroundings. His rough landing from Stark's helicopter led him a fair distance away from the battle field. From where he is, he could see the carnage of dust and flames swallowing their latest mission. Avenger's headquarters, raided by Hydra Forces in the middle of the night.

Never again would he trust Thor to give him a parachute he did not know how to operate properly. One more second and he wouldn't been flattened.

"Clean up on isle 4, Point Break dropped something.", The nearby rain of gunfire and explosions unfortunately didn't save Loki from the quip.

Loki considered throwing his ear piece away, mourning the fact it didn't break upon impact. Though pain blossomed throughout his chest, ribs, and legs, this was nothing compared to the the Hulk. He gets up with a groan, prying himself off the ground and ripping past his parachute with a dagger.

"Grocery jokes were so last week," Barton's drawled, his voice nearly drowning from the sound of his arrows whistling.

"Hey, speaking of groceries, Cap, you're on this week." Romanov's smoky voice breaks through, clear as day, as well as the echoes of her footsteps.

"I was on for the last three weeks!"

Loki gets up and preens himself, taking long strides. There is nowhere else to go but to the source of the chaos.

Any other day, he would've taken this as a chance to slip away into the darkness. Instead, he brushes off the dust from his leather coat, preening his cape as he readies himself for battle.

There in the distance, the band of misfit humans, and thunder god, were fighting a hulking figure made of metal. Bigger than the hulk. Fire, thunder, and light danced around them as they struggle, like a violent version of one of Stark's house parties. Bar his brother's disturbing ability to down thrice as much beer than usually did just a few years ago. Loki spots his Thor's figure, trapped between the fingers of the giant as he was thrown around like a rag doll. He allows himself a smirk before he returns to his own part in this little conquest.

"Uh, we can't keep Decepticon Jr in one place for too long, hurry up-"

"I'm on my way." Loki rolls his eyes as he makes his way to what used to be the courtyard of the Avengers Headquarters.

Near the edge of it were Stark's people, seeking refuge behind a fallen wall. They cowered before a squadron of men he didn't recognize. With a wave of his hand, a blast of his seidr swept them away with a pulse of green light, leaving them unconscious. The civilians, presumably Stark's employees, run away.

Except for one lying on the ground. Loki arrows his eyes, realizing who it was.

Her name escaped his lips in a breath, he knelt beside her burnt and soot-caked body. Eyes quickly running over her to see if there were any fatal wounds, none on the surface. He leans over her, checking her pulse and her breath just before she jolts awake with a rasp.

Immediately, he straightens his back. 

"Ah, so glad of you to join us, Agent." He masks his tense jaw with a charming grin. 

"Did you break anything? Your spirit, perhaps?" Loki prods, watching her roll over to her side. 

Strangled breaths and muffled cries escape her. Listlessly, she tries to make sense of the scene before her as gunfire rained next to them. Loki lunges forward to avoid being shot, taking cover with her. Her eyes were wide and glistening, captivated with flames and starlight. She scrambles to get up, hands clawing at the soot-covered soil. She resembled a new born fawn.

Adorable.

Loki thought as he crinkled is nose at the way she spat soot and blood next to him.

 

"Loki?"

 

"As much as I appreciate being gawked at, agent, I believe it's within your best interests to-"

Her hands fly to cup his face, her hands are wiping soot over his chin. He glances to at the sides of his face. His hand tentatively came up to rest on one of her wrists as he eyes her. If only to make sure she doesn't end up strangling him in a fit of panic, he told himself.

"It worked.." came her choked, broken laughter.

"What?" Loki's eyes narrow at her reaction.

"They're safe." she slurred, slumping towards the ground. Loki placed a hand under the small of her back to steady her. 

"You should have stayed in your office, you fool." Just as he said this, a blast rips through the sky, hitting a building in the distance. The wing where she would have been working.

"Or not."

Loki pried himself away from the mortal who seemed to stare at him as if he was an apparition. There were more than a dozen Hydra underlings surrounding her, did she truly hope to save those civilians all on her own?

"Get up." he ordered, "Your options are to burn or leave for safety. I suggest you choose the latter."

The woman sluggishly stood up, holding up her hand in refusal before he could help her walk. Her footsteps were light as she trails after him.

"Wait… We're going the wrong way," she protests.

He tilts his head in bemusement. The only other way to go was towards the source of battle.

"As amusing as it would be to see you fight, frail as you are," A breath of laughter escapes him.

"I'd rather not get butchered by letting one of Stark's 'interns' die."

"This isn't part of the plan." The woman huffed, spitting ash into the ground and rubbing her throat.

"Did I miss something from your frantic fumbling? What plan?" 

Silence met his questions as she sets her weary gaze on him. He waited, but no answer came from her. 

"Leave, this is no place for a mortal." he orders, catching her gaze once more. Something in her eyes extinguished.

"Mortal." A huff of laughter, one that was most definitely self-deprecating, escaped her.

Before Loki could do anything else, a metallic screech ripped through the air, they look up and see a car hurling towards them. They go on opposite directions and the Trickster wasn't able to find her until much later.

 

He later found the woman standing in the rain soaked roof of the Avengers Tower, holding Iron Man at gun point. From where Loki stood, he could see her hands shaking as a man in black, Nick Fury, talked her down. I glance to see the broken parts of the metal giant from earlier, lying wasted on the ground.

Until finally, she lowers the gun. Though undoubtedly, she could not have injured Stark, but the fool deactivated his helm.

"And here we are now." Loki says to himself as he opens his eyes, willing away his ruminations.

 

 


	2. A Poor Imitation of Valhöll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> I have no editor so this whole story might seem a little choppy oops-

_"Valhöll is the hall of the slain." His voice beckoned me to move, but his hands held me still on his lap._

_The sun sunk low into the horizon, casting a twilight into the long room, generous with it's windows. The warm glow made the flecks of dust floating in the air look like small orbs of light. All I focus on is Loki's piercing eyes and the flickering light bulb above us._

_"You've told me this story a hundred times over."_

_"And I shall continue to do so until you understand it." His lips pressed together into a thin line as he cast his gaze at the control panel. Pressing a few buttons on it meant ending his time with me._

_"Understand what?"_

_The brief but potent silence that followed almost convinced me that he'll leave it there._

_"Valhöll is where the battle-worn and bold fight glorious battles until they are slain again, and again." A feeling similar to soft velvet washed through my chest and head as the god of seidr  cradled my head._

_His voice sounded far and distant._ _I look up to catch a glimpse of the hardened look on Loki's gaze._

_"Once they close their eyes," The Silver-Tongued god whispered as I let go. _The world started to blur into faint lines and colors.__

_"They wake up in the same sun-bathed halls of gold to fight their fellow Einherjar." The feeling of velvet started to feel like the constricting scales of a snake, coiling around my chest and head._

_I call out his name, clinging to what other sensations I could sense. Something shattered next to us, and a warm liquid cascaded down my hand and forearms. Soaking through my gloves and watch. For a moment, I panic, thinking Loki had betrayed me and used the last hope of humanity to bring_ me _back to the past._

_"Until Ragnarok comes to take them."_

_The way the colors shifted above me told me that Loki was still speaking. But I can't hear him anymore._

* * *

 

 

I don't remember when exactly his voice and touch started to fade, or if the tale was a different memory woven into my last moments as my brain started shutting down.

All I knew was that death felt like showering in cold water. I could forget just how shocking it could be if I calm down and let the water run. Once I get used to it, I start lowering the temperature again. Again, and again, until I'm numb and left with just a vague memory of what warm water was like.

 

Opening my eyes to the world felt as if hot water was thrown at me right after.

 

I find myself in the old Avengers Headquarters, up in flames but teeming with life. This was the night Hydra stormed the Avenger's Headquarters, empty of it's agents, soldiers, and heroes. 

My heart lurched at the thought that maybe Loki didn't take the vial after all. 

"Leave, this is no place for a mortal.", the cold tone of his voice was sobering.

"Mortal." I echoed, sourly amused at the restrained irritation in his voice.

He tricked me.

Before Loki- or this version of Loki- could say anything else, a car was thrown at us and I ran. It's shattered remains skidded through the courtyard. I glance over my shoulder to see my would-be savior narrowly missing a car seat. A hail of gunfire surrounded him, and soon, he was too busy fighting to reach me. But if the wrinkles on his brows told me anything, he might get a little irritated when he does find me after. 

There's nothing left to do but move forward.

As soon as I was a fair distance away from him, I hid myself in a shadowy corner behind a building. Biding my time as a squadron of Hydra agents ran around, hunting for their target. I blink away my confusion, willing the fog in my brain to dissipate so I can make sense of what's happening.

"Check the area."

I instinctively reach for my waist holster, curling my fingers for a gun that wasn't there. The fabric under my fingers felt too soft and thin to be my usual leather vest. I found myself dressed in a simple blouse and a pencil skirt, and the only thing I have that resembled a weapon was a clicker pen hooked into my breast pocket

On the roof of the building across from mine, a man with long braided hair leaps into the sky with a thunderous cry, bringing down his axe upon a monstrous version of Iron Man's suit.

Footsteps padded near me and I sink closer to the walls, counting two men surrounding me from both sides.

A familiar, monstrous cry made itself known. At first it was faint, then it quickly became louder as the ground shook and debris flew in my direction. I hunched down for cover, but the other guys weren't so lucky. The Hulk had caught sight of them, and grabbed them by the arms and flung them at a bush near me. This was the night Hydra took me. My lungs seized up and a huff of laughter left my bloodied lips.

Heavy footsteps rumbled through the courtyard and I peeked from behind my hiding spot. With one great leap, the Hulk leaves to terrorize a different group of Hydra agents. Bruce Banner died before today, a survivor of the Decimation found himself corrupted by both the bane and benefit of his existence. But here he was, in all his green glory.

I almost missed him but on the branches of a nearby tree, I could see Clint Barton crouched down with his bow, firing arrows at goons from a distance.

I saw a flash of crimson red hair and black leather, Black Widow fought as if she was dancing. Twisting and turning, as if she never left. 

But the distinct, high-pitched whines of an arc-reactor was what took the cake. A red and golden figure flew through the sky, shooting light at his doppelganger. I finally realize what this is.

 

_Valhöll is where the battle-worn and bold fight glorious battles until they are slain._

_Again, and again._

 

I load up a gun lying next to an unconscious Hydra agent. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter's finally out, yay!


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